The Cathedral Close

After all, the greatest enemy I have is myself, or rather the evil that is in me, together with the frailty of my sinful nature. This sinful nature is usually called ” the flesh ” in the Bible and the Prayer Book, and is spoken of as being hostile to the spirit; that is, the higher part of our nature, by which we naturally approve of virtue, and disapprove of all that is evil, however prone to it the flesh, that is, our lower nature, may be. Hence often arises a conflict within us, for most of us have some particular failings, such as pride or selfishness, which may therefore be spoken of as our besetting sins; and these may be sins of the flesh or of the mind. Let me think of the latter of these first.

There may be some fault in my disposition the result of which is that I am naturally inclined to be sinful in one form or another, and it is so natural to me therefore to be irritable, or jealous, or whatever my besetting sin may be, that I find it hard to keep myself from it. When the temptation comes I do not feel inclined to keep myself from it. It is only when all is over, and the circumstances which gave occasion for it have passed away, that I feel that I have been foolish, and that I have none wrong.

But is it not enough to be no worse than others, and I do not think that I am much worse than other fellows of my own age and standing? If I have on one or two occasions not spoken quite the truth, or if I have once or twice used or taken that which was not my own, does not everyone do the same? Or if I have rather a bad temper, if I am inclined to be a little proud, or if they do say that I am selfish, I am no worse, at any rate, than the rest of us; and why, then, should I trouble myself about these things now? But, on the other hand, is it good to be proud, or irritable, or selfish, or unkind? Do I not naturally blame others for these and other faults, and is it not God’s will that for my own good I should put all faults from me?

Prayer

Cleanse me, O God, I beseech Thee, from my secret faults, and help me, I pray Thee, to subdue those which are known to me, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.